When couples decide to terminate their marriage, it is always emotionally challenging, however, it is exacerbated when there are children involved. In many cases, the dispute between parents over the child custody arrangement can be legally complex, compounding the emotional toll. It goes without saying, that reaching an amicable child custody agreement is crucial for the well-being and stability of the children involved. Here are some tips to help parents work out a child custody agreement effectively in Singapore:

  • Prioritise the Best Interests of the Child

The paramount consideration in Singapore’s family law is the welfare and best interests of the child. Section 3 of the Guardianship of Infants Act 1934 states that in any matters involving the custody or upbringing of a child, amongst other things, the court must regard the welfare of the child as the first and paramount consideration. 

In this regard, both parents should set aside personal grievances and focus on what arrangement would provide the most stable and nurturing environment for their child. This involves considering factors such as the child’s age, education, emotional needs, and any special requirements.

  • Open Communication and Mediation

As with any dispute, if parties aim to resolve the issues amicably then it is important to have an open conversation with one another and discuss the kind of arrangements that would be mutually beneficial for the child. Parents should communicate openly and honestly about their wishes, concerns and expectations regarding the type of custody arrangements. 

At any stage of a divorce proceedings, the option to mediate is always available. Section 139H of the Women’s Charter (“Women’s Charter”) states that the court may consider the possibility of a harmonious resolution and if the parties consent, the court may refer the parties and the children (if any) for mediation. 

Mediation may be a powerful tool in resolving disputes as a mediator, a neutral third party, is appointed to facilitate productive discussion and help parents find common ground without having to resort to prolonged court battles. A decision reached at mediation may be translated into a Consent Order which is binding on both parties. 

  • Understanding the Types of Matters Relating to a Child 

In Singapore, matters relating to the child include custody, care and control, and access. Parents should understand the distinction between custody, care and control, and access before discussing the type of arrangement that would be most suitable based on their circumstances and the child’s needs. Briefly, these matters are: 

  1. Custody: Custody of the child relates to the making of important life decisions for the child by the custodial parent. These decisions include but are not limited to, the child’s education, religion and healthcare. 
  2. Care and Control: Care and control related to the child’s day-to-day needs. The parent with care and control, i.e., the caregiving parent, is whom the child will live with and is responsible for ensuring that the child’s daily necessities such as meals, transportation, hobbies, bedtimes, etc. 
  3. Access: Access is usually given to the parent that does not have the care and control of the child, i.e., the non-caregiver parent. The aim of granting access is to help maintain a healthy relationship between the child and the non-caregiving parent. 
  • Understanding the Type of Orders 

In relation to the custody, care and control, and access of the child, there are several types of orders available. It is important to understand the type of orders available to decide what kind of orders would be suitable and in the best interest of the child. The types of respective orders are: 

Custody

  1. Sole Custody Order: In an event where one parent is granted sole custody, the parent has the sole discretion as to making major life decisions relating to the child. Sole custody is not a typical order but when granted it may be because the relationship between the parents is so strained that there is no possibility for co-parenting and any attempts would only affect the child negatively. 

Another possible reason may be that there is evidence of child abuse by one parent, and it would be for the safety and welfare of the child that custody is given to the other parent.

  1. Joint Custody order: Both parents must make the decisions on behalf of the child together. Both parents must discuss and mutually agree on any life decisions made on behalf of the child. Joint custody tends to be the more common custody order.
  2. Hybrid Order:  One parent is granted custody but must consult the other parent in relation to matters that affect the child’s welfare.
  3. Split Custody Order: Where there is more than one child of the marriage, the court may grant the custody of one child to one parent, but the custody of the other child is granted to the other parent, i.e., each parent has custody of each child. This is an uncommon court order as it is not desirable to split up the siblings.

Care and Control

  1. Sole Care and Control Order: Where one parent is granted the care and control of the child, i.e., the child will live with the parent with care and control. 
  2. Shared Care and Control: Where both parents are granted care and control, and the child will spend an equal amount of time living with both parents. However, shared care and control is not a common order given that it is inconvenient for the child to be constantly moving back and forth from either of the parent’s residences. 

Access

  1. Unsupervised: Unsupervised access allows the non-caregiver parent, i.e., the parent without care and control, to spend time with the child without the caregiver parent or a third party present to supervise the visit.  
  2. Supervised: Supervised access is granted where there is a need to protect the child from physical or emotional abuse or to access the non-caregiver parent’s relationship with the child. Supervision of the non-caregiver parent is usually done by either the caregiver parent or a neutral third party. 
  3. Access Timings: Another factor for consideration is the duration of the access terms. Based on the unique circumstances of each case, the access terms may include daily video access (i.e., via video call daily), weekend access (i.e., the child will stay over the weekends at the non-caregiver parent’s residence), and holiday access (i.e., the child will spend time with the non-caregiver parent). 
  • Consider the Child’s Voice

Where appropriate the Family Justice Courts would take into account the child’s wishes, taking into account factors such as the child’s age and maturity. While the final decision rests with the Court, weight may be given to the child’s preferences and concerns regarding custody arrangements. This can contribute to a more child-centred and mutually agreeable outcome.

  • Consult with Legal Professionals

Navigating the legal aspects of child custody or any other related matters in Singapore requires knowledge of family law and procedures. Matters relating to the child may be legally complex and it is important to consult a family lawyer. An experienced family lawyer can provide valuable legal advice and guidance on the law and its procedures, clarify your rights and responsibilities, and ensure that any agreements reached are fair and just.

  • Be Willing to Compromise

Flexibility and compromise are essential in negotiating any dispute. Both parents may need to make concessions to reach a solution that serves the child’s welfare and best interests. Being willing to consider alternative proposals and collaborate constructively can lead to a more satisfactory and sustainable arrangement.

  • Review and Revise as Needed

Any arrangements relating to the child should be periodically reviewed to accommodate changing circumstances such as the child’s developmental needs, parental relocations, or changes in work schedules. Parents should agree on a process for revising the agreement and be prepared to make adjustments when necessary. Retaining a family lawyer be helpful in these circumstances, where there is a change in circumstances, consult with a family lawyer to assess whether there is a need to revise the arrangements accordingly.

Conclusion

Working out any arrangement relating to a child in Singapore requires patience, empathy, and a commitment to prioritising the well-being of the child. By approaching disputes relating to the child of the marriage with an open mind, seeking professional guidance such as a family lawyer, and focusing on constructive communication, parents can create an arrangement with regard to the child that supports the child’s growth and happiness during a challenging time of family transition.